


At The Beginning

by grexigone



Series: Wiegenlied [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Dorks, Dorks in Love, F/M, Fluff, I'M BACK PEOPLE, Rebelcaptain - Freeform, Short One Shot, just two of them being dorks, nothing too heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grexigone/pseuds/grexigone
Summary: While attending Kes Dameron and Shara Bey's wedding, Cassian came to a realization on what his heart wants and decided to go with what it says.
Relationships: Cassian Andor & Jyn Erso, Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Shara Bey/Kes Dameron
Series: Wiegenlied [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1435327
Comments: 5
Kudos: 65





	At The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Stay healthy and strong everyone!
> 
> First fic in 2020 after what feels like a millennia worth of vacuum from writing so I'm really happy for this fic! Not to mention that I wrote 80% of it on a plane after a working trip, AND the subsequent taxi trip from airport to office so yeah, I'm quite proud of the outcome :D
> 
> Nothing too angst, not too smutty as well, just some fluff for our beloved (and tired and well deserved) OTP.
> 
> Enjoy! Come say hi to my (once again active) [Tumblr](https://grexigone.tumblr.com/)!

It was a lovely evening and Kes Dameron was finally wedded to his long time lover Shara Bey. It was a simple, small party surrounded by their closest Rebels and friends, including Cassian who had taken the time to find a proper suit to wear in this lovely event.

Cassian's eyes swept the makeshift hall at the far east side of the Yavin temple and pleased to find that everyone was enjoying their time despite the looming war. He himself was trying his best to set aside all of the perils in the galaxy for a while and live in this moment of happiness. But then again, Cassian has never really enjoyed a big crowd, so he chose the table with the least amount of people and mingled there, chatting and laughing about anything other than work.

It wasn't that bad, he thought. Simple things in daily life could really be interesting if one decided to look at it in such perspective, and so there he was, Captain of the Rebel Intelligence, concerning himself with anything from Yavin's native animal, weird planets they've visited, and this bet they've made on who's gonna win in an argument between a reprogrammed Imperial droid and a very old R2-series that has seen the golden age of the Jedi.

 _Can’t wait to tell Jyn about this bet_ , Cassian thought, before being self conscious about it. 

_Wait, what?_

Cassian found himself suddenly in need of a drink, so he excused himself from the table and went towards the crate where the liquors were being distributed. One small bottle was gone in mere seconds, but the thought - or more likely her face, her rare laughter, her voice, the _need_ of her presence lingered still so he took another bottle to help the previous one.

 _“Only if you want this too,”_ Cassian remembered the time he offered that to her, after one particular evening where they talked too much that all of their walls shattered. It wasn’t a secret that things between them are not like it used to be, yet none of them can really name that comfort they found in each other’s company, nor the weird feeling on his chest - sometimes in his guts - that the other inflicted every now and then. 

It culminated into that One Particular Evening, and afterwards they talked and made a simple deal that they can keep doing what they just did so long the others wanted the same, and since no one ever raised the question of “what are we” or tried to name this _Thing_ between them, Cassian basically just played along and mimic whatever it is that Jyn was doing: being their usual selves as if nothing changes during the day, and become a frequent visitor to each other’s quarters during the night.

And this seemed not to bother any of them, at least until these last few days for Cassian, as particularly at the very moment. It never happened before, but lately, whenever his mind was wandering on its own, it would always return to her. There was nothing in particular - whether it was something she did, faces she made, and this weird longing of wishing she was present at certain moments in _his_ life. 

_But of course how can you_ not _talk or think about a person who has seen you naked, both literally and figuratively?_

Cassian was too busy bottoming up the third bottle when a hard pat to his back almost knocked him out while the liquor spilled a bit to the ground.

"Can't seem to rest those minds, I see?" Cassian turned around to see the familiar face of the groom, looking radiant in his big day that Cassian just had to give him a hug of appreciation.

"Congratulations, man. I'm happy for you."

"I know you do," Kes replied, grinning from ear to ear, before jutting his chin to the bottle on Cassian's hand. "You haven't answered my question, though."

"What, I'm enjoying the free drink from the generous host," Cassian nudged him with his elbow but otherwise avoided Kes' gaze.

"If I hadn't known you better, I'd believe that," Kes put his strong arm around Cassian's smaller shoulders and dragged him away to the nearest table, forcing him to sit as Kes took the empty seat beside him. "But you only ever drink to forget or to show off, and I'm willing to bet my whole life it's not the latter."

 _Busted_ , Cassian thought. _Guess that's what 'best friend' means._

"Work?" Kes pushed, and Cassian just shook his head.

"You know I'm amazed by how many of your guests that came here in couples," Cassian swiped one look across the place, trying to avoid the conversation. Besides, it's an honest opinion. He always thought - and believed - that life as Rebels is hard and challenging and within the line of hopelessness that people wouldn't bother with love and coupling and those kinds of things. But then again, as with many events that happened in his life recently, they unexpectedly do to the point where even Kes Dameron decided to get married.

"And here I am amazed that you came alone," Kes replied, eyeing Cassian with a hint of teasing. 

"I don't have anyone - to couple with, I mean."

"Oh, so if you and Erso are not a couple, what are you two, then? Mission-slash-bedroom-buddies?"

 _Great_ , Cassian choked on his drink and coughed hard, almost pulling all the attention of the crowds towards him. _Apparently Kes can read minds now_.

"Save your excuses for another day, Cassian. But to be honest, _I_ was kinda hurt that you didn’t bring her along. I actually made this bet with Shara on whether you would show up with Erso or not. And now I’m losing it."

“ _Hey_ ,” Cassian eyed Kes with pure annoyance and disbelief, though it disappeared as quickly when Kes started to giggle. “She didn’t want to come. Not a big fan of the big crowd too,” Cassian added.

“Have you asked?”

Tentatively, Cassian shot a guilty look that had Kes murmuring a curse under his breath.

“That is actually _rude_ , Cassian Andor!” Kes shook his head, opening his mouth only to close it again as if at loss of words. “What is with this secrecy between you guys, anyway? I don’t get why you don’t want to be seen together or, you know, let whatever that is between you guys be seen and give not two shits about the other’s opinion?”

Cassian finished his drink in one big gulp that almost got him choke up for the second time before answering - or rather, making another excuse. “That wasn’t the reason,” he grimaced when the alcohol pushing back from his stomach to his throat in a burning sensation, “Okay, I didn’t ask her and it’s on me, but really, we are-”

"Look, Cassian," Kes gave a hard squeeze to his best friend's shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes, cutting whatever it is that he was going to say. "Life is short. You got people around you who support you, care for you, and they certainly love you enough to follow you through hell. Make sure you take time to appreciate that, mate."

"I know," Cassian answered with a small smile, because Force knows he did. And he did try to appreciate them as much as he could.

Kes rolled his eyes and groaned, clearly annoyed, but before Cassian could utter anything from his gaped mouth, Kes cut him sharply with a smack to his arm. "You know who I meant, Cassian Andor. Force bless her, she cared for your stupid ass so much. Now do me a favor and go do something nice about it."

Cassian stood there for another good five minutes, swallowing Kes' words as he watched him approaching Shara and pulled her for a dance by the bonfire. The crowd cheered and whistled, and followed the bride and groom, except for Cassian.

If he’s about to make _one_ favor for Kes, he can, at least, start with this one thing that’s been bothering his mind for a while and set it right. So by the time Kes looked around to look for him, Cassian had left. Kes smiled knowingly to himself, said a little prayer for his best friend, and resumed to dance with his now-wife.

Cassian already knew this route by heart, yet it certainly felt different to walk it on a young, still busy night rather than the usual, pre-dawn situation. To be very honest, he hasn't really thought about what to do or what to say to her when he sees her later, but maybe he doesn't have to. He always liked to be prepared -- his job and experience demanded him to be so, but maybe, he lamented, maybe some things don't have to be planned. Maybe he just needs to act on impulse, to do what his heart tells him without a second thought, without plan b to plan z and all the what ifs.

Yet, Cassian Andor is still the usual Cassian Andor, and he didn't realize how long he's been standing still in front of her quarters, lost in his own thoughts, until the door swished open suddenly and a surprised gasp snapped him back to Yavin's earth.

" _Kriffing hell, Cassian!_ " Jyn fisted one hand on the nearest wall to steady herself, and apparently he was smiling because she then challenged him with a suspicious "What?", her brows furrowed with pure curiosity and anticipation.

"I'm sorry," Cassian said, a bit too raspy than he expected it to be, so he cleared his throat before continuing, "I, uh, may I come in? Or do you need to go somewhere first?"

"I got time," Jyn replied, retreated back into her quarters tentatively and he followed suit. "I was just about to talk to Chirrut about something but it's not urgent," she added.

Cassian nodded and murmured a short "okay"...and that's it. That's how far his impulse had allowed him to act or say something because now his brain screams "now what" repeatedly and he can't answer them. To make matters worse, he now got distracted by the sight of Jyn with her hair untied and unkempt. It was quite obvious that she had just woken up from a long nap, and it definitely was not the first time Cassian saw her bedroom hair and face, but there was something today that's just...different.

"Cassian?" Jyn's voice snapped him (again), so Cassian cleared his throat (again) before finally speaking.

"You didn't have to go," _Okay that was wrong_ , "I'm not...I mean, not now. Not about going to Chirrut, no." _Bravo, Cassian Jeron Andor, your parents would be very proud of you now that they'll denounce you as their son_ , "I, uh, I mean after we...when you..."

The know on Jyn's brows just got even more tangled and defined and _Force damn it, Andor_ , Cassian took a deep breath; one, and then two, before he speaks again. Clearer, and in one breath.

"You don't have to leave after every time we slept together." _There you go_. Jyn's eyes widened at the sudden revelation, but there's no turning back now, so Cassian pushes forward. "It's okay if you want to stay...I want you to stay."

In front of him, Jyn opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again. She then looked down to her feet where her boots were lightly tapping against the durasteel floor, and Cassian suddenly lamented the fact that none of them was thinking about dimming the light up because he was sure as hell Jyn's cheeks blushed.

When she finally looked up, she was biting her lips nervously while slipping both hands inside her trousers' pockets, and Cassian was about to add something more when Jyn finally responded.

"I thought we agreed not to make a big deal about it," she said tentatively, almost a whisper. "'It's nobody's business but ours, as long as we're cool with it'...so I thought it's better if we just, you know, lay low and don't make it too obvious like people seeing either of us coming from each others' quarters."

Jyn shrugged and swung on her heels, "And you didn't seem to mind about it, so I thought..."

"And I didn't," Cassian immediately added, already cursing himself for making her uncomfortable, "Really, I was -- am okay with it. But at the same time I don't want it to look like we're just something...physical like that. We're not. At least I don't see it as that, and most of the times I wanted to stop you from walking out the door but honestly I don't know what to say."

 _There, he said it_. He'd said more than he ever did in probably ten years and it actually wasn't that bad to open up to someone like that. Especially when that person was Jyn.

"So..." Jyn hummed, a hint of a smile was hanging on her lips, "Are you saying that you were awake all those times when I left and just stare without saying anything?"

Cassian nodded.

"Creepy," she chuckled, and Cassian followed suit. The tense and awkward air that was around them melted just a little bit. They let the laughter recede until it was mere smiles, the silence that follows was peaceful. 

It was Jyn who broke it first. "Okay," she said, and this time it was Cassian's turn to furrowed his brows.

"....okay?"

"I'll stay," Jyn added, a playful smile on her face, "Don't want to look like a call girl anyway, and I gotta admit that those captain-level pillows are better than my standard ones."

Cassian snorted, "Jyn, there's no such thing as captain-level pillows,"

"Whatever. I'll stay if you let me use that. Deal?"

"Really? For pillows?"

"Kidding," Jyn laughed, and Cassian didn't know who made the first move but suddenly they were standing closer than before, so close that the air from his nose can blow the soft hairs on Jyn's forehead.

"You look nice, by the way," she whispered, swiping one look at Cassian's attire and Force does it make his face and neck burn.

"Thanks," he replied, and before he could even stop himself, one of his hands had flung up to sweep the hair on Jyn's neck, exposing the skin he knew where her scent was strongest. "It's long. Never seen it before."

"Yeah. I need a haircut. It starts to become too annoying." Cassian used the same hand that was resting on her shoulder to cup her jaws while his thumb started caressing her cheek. Turns out they can do things slowly like this. No sloppy touches, awkward positions, and wrong steps. Just them standing still and enjoying each other's presence. 

"Is that what you're finding Chirrut for?"

"Maybe,"

"Can it wait?"

"Chirrut was actually off planet until next week."

"Good,"

"Good."

The last things Cassian saw before closing his eyes and meeting her lips were the greens he'd grown to love, and the smile that stays long even after they kissed.

He would need to thank Kes sometimes later.


End file.
